网上有个话题：为什么人越长大，话越变少了？
高赞回答说：因为吃够了说错话的亏。
的确是这样，人生有时遭遇麻烦事，碰到毫无预料的关系破裂，初期以为缘分使然，到后来回忆才发现，都是当初没管住嘴造成的。
人与人交往，最重要的便是要懂得：什么话该说，什么话不该说。
聪明的人，都懂得不在别人说这3件事时“多嘴”。

When others mention their painful experiences, don't interrupt with unnecessary comments.

There is a popular post on Zhihu: "What is it like to interact with someone who doesn't know when to keep quiet?"

A highly praised response hits the nail on the head: "It's like planting an unexploded bomb right beside you, one careless move and it will leave you utterly devastated."

Indeed, there are too many people in life who enjoy becoming life coaches for others in times of adversity, speaking sharply and making casual comments.

As a result, it hurts both others and oneself, and the gains do not justify the losses.

Netizen Ziyu has a very close relationship with a colleague, the two are like sisters, sharing everything.

Once, Ziyu discovered her boyfriend was cheating and angrily demanded an explanation. Instead of explaining, her boyfriend not only refused to provide any reason but also verbally abused her and kicked her out of the house.

Ziyu, with nowhere else to go, could only seek shelter at a colleague's home.

As soon as she entered, she tearfully accused her boyfriend, pouring out all her grievances and frustrations to her colleagues.

Who would have thought that instead of comforting Ziyu, her colleagues blamed her for being too weak and indecisive.

The next day, a colleague spread Ziyu's personal emotional experiences around the company, mocking her as lowly and incapable, like a soft persimmon that anyone could squeeze.

The colleague's incessant gossip has plunged Ziyu into a whirlpool of rumors and slander, causing immense suffering.

Ultimately, she chose to resign from the company and decisively deleted all contact information of that colleague.

As seen, getting along with others, seven parts depend on the mouth, three parts on the heart.

Control your mouth, speak cautiously, to maintain a long-lasting and comfortable friendship; guard your heart, behave appropriately, this is the way of adult conduct.

Ernest Hemingway once said, "We spent two years learning to speak, but it takes sixty years to learn to keep quiet."

Being able to speak is an instinct; refraining from unnecessary talk is a form of cultivation.

Many times, when someone confides in you, they may simply want a warm word of comfort or a sincere hug.

And you, only need to light a lamp when the other person is in darkness; provide appropriate support when the other person is isolated and helpless.

Otherwise, once the wrong words are spoken, crossing the line, it is easy to offend others, and even lead to the breakdown of relationships.

Therefore, as we navigate the world, we must remember the wisdom of "too many words invite trouble." By keeping our tongues silent and refraining from reckless commentary, we can coexist harmoniously with others.

When others complain about their job, don't get involved.

A few days ago, I came across a post: What should you do when someone constantly complains about their job to you?

Someone replied: Just reply with a couple of sentences.

Why?

Because of her friend, she often hears about her plans to quit, complaining about how bad the job is and how difficult the colleagues are.

She was getting very impatient with the constant repetition of the same topic.

At first, she would still help with ideas: if you want to quit, you can start by sending out resumes to test the waters, see your value in the market, and don't quit without a job lined up.

Later, it was discovered that her way of speaking not only failed to extinguish the flames but instead fanned the fire, making the other party feel as if they had accomplished nothing.

Actually, sometimes, the other person's complaints are truly just complaints, and they repeatedly complain about the same issues.

He won't take your advice because if he were truly going to act, he wouldn't be talking about his emotions so much.

After understanding this principle, whenever she encounters someone who is merely venting their emotions in a complaining manner in the future, she can simply respond with a few casual remarks and get by.

Perhaps some might say she is cold-hearted, neither offering help nor providing emotional support when friends seek assistance.

But those who have truly experienced similar incidents will understand:

Many times, when someone complains to you, they are really just complaining to you.

Because for ordinary people, work will be the main source of their income and also the foundation of their livelihood.

He will neither resign easily nor heed others' advice casually.

So, when you are unable to solve the difficult problems the other party encounters in their work, and you don't want to offend them because of it, it's better to remain silent and simply be a kind listener.

I used to always feel that when friends vented, I should respond promptly.

Now I realize that being kind and speaking up often leads to ingratitude, so it's better to "remain silent rather than speak out."

In this world, everyone has their own struggles to navigate. It is wise to maintain a proper distance at the right time.

When others deliberately conceal the truth, don't expose it.

Do you know anyone like this: they claim to be straightforward, always love to dig deep into everything, and even habitually expose others' secrets to show off their abilities.

Little do they know, understanding without speaking out, seeing through without exposing, is the greatest wisdom in life.

At a high school reunion, Liu Qi gave his former desk mate Li Yi a big hug, tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you, my good brother, for giving me a warm youth that was never exposed."

The students present were puzzled, but after Liu Qi's explanation, they suddenly understood and applauded Li Yi's understanding and consideration.

Originally, during his sophomore year, Liu Qi often slept in class and occasionally skipped school without reason. When the teacher inquired about the reason, he merely replied indifferently, "I didn't sleep well at night."

And the perceptive Li Yi always felt that he was intentionally hiding something.

Once, he happened to see Liu Qi working at a restaurant and noticed that he frequently visited the hospital.

After some inquiry, Li Yi found out that Liu Qi was working so hard on part-time jobs to raise money for his father's medical expenses in the hospital.

But when he asked Liu Qi if he was facing any difficulties, the other person still said with a blank expression, "It's fine."

Li Yi, who saw through everything, did not press for more questions but silently prepared detailed class notes for him and helped him catch up on the missed lessons.

And so, with Li Yi's kind assistance, Liu Qi not only successfully overcame the difficulty but also remained unaffected in his studies.

"The disciple's rules" says: "If someone has shortcomings, do not expose them; if someone has private matters, do not discuss them."

To understand, each person's heart harbors a secret garden, concealing the disheveled and embarrassing moments they wish to keep hidden.

If you insist on dwelling on it and forcefully revealing the truth, it is inevitable that you will bring irreparable shadows and harm to others.

But when you understand compassion, treat others with kindness, and preserve the dignity of the other person, not only can you avoid conflicts, but you can also earn respect.

After all, life is inherently difficult, and everyone has burdens they cannot express.

In the days to come, be a clear-minded and sharp individual, refrain from discussing others' private matters or exposing their shortcomings, and you will navigate interpersonal relationships with ease and peace.

Not "talking too much" is a form of advanced self-cultivation.

看过一句话：心无遮拦是坦荡，口无遮拦是祸端。
因为我们知道，这世间有太多的情绪需要宣泄，做一个倾听者，远比做一个建议者，更令人舒服。
更何况，成年人之间理应保持一份默契。
不刻意参与、不过分疏远，不居高临下地给对方出主意，也是给对方的一份尊重，和保持友谊能够长存的一种方式。
有时候，面对别人的事情，不多嘴，既是一种修养，也是一份体面。
点亮**【在看】**，愿我们都能把握好人际交往的分寸，坦荡而又真诚地行走在人生的路上。

China News Service (CNS) is a comprehensive news agency that draws content from sources such as Readers and Ten Points Reading.

Editor: Han Jiaojiao

Proofreading: Wei Yuan

Editor: Song Fangcan

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